So this is it. I'm typing this in a bubble of light created by my laptop screen as my computer slowly dies. It's my 6th night in Cairo and the government coordinated blackouts are becoming a standard. I shouldn't say standard. Tolerable, expected, even refreshing at times, but certainly not standard. They can be 30 minutes while the daylight is still bright or 4 hours right around dinner time when suddenly you are dropped into a sea of black with nothing but your half-cooked whatever. But isn't this what your 20's are about? Taking chances, finding yourself, gaining the life experience that will boost you into the "real world." I'm currently reading a book recommended to me by a fellow american here in Cairo. It's called "The Defining Decade." For lack of a better term it is a self help book for twentysomethings. A psychiatrist's wisdom and research on the formative and confusing years that are our twenties. The thesis is something along the lines of "Have fun, fall in love, take care of your mind and body, but don't fuck up. If you fuck up, your life is going to be shit." No pressure. It talks about something called "identity capital." Identity capital is the experiences, jobs, skills, you might gain while you transition from the starry eyed undergrad, into the "what the fuck am I doing" 20's, and finally into the "oh shit, I'm old" 30's. So I guess in a round about way, I'm in Cairo collecting identity capital. Worded that way it sounds selfish, arrogant, and ambitious in the worst way. In reality it's just a better way of saying I'm stalling.
The real world is fucking terrifying. I can't pin down what makes it so. You see I've never had to stay in one place for long. The benefits of being a Navy brat are endless; optimism, ability to make friends quickly and easily, an extensive knowledge of geography, and the vocabulary to swear like a sailor. The negatives, however, don't hit until later; the restlessness, the ease at which we let those friends go when it it time to move on, and the lack of a real home base. So you see, Cairo just makes sense. It's a year in a country I love, helping others, and it began and will end with goodbyes. But life can't be lived like that. The older we get, the more stability becomes important and necessary. I'm not a man to grow deep roots but I'm also a man that knows it takes something special to live successfully on the run. Well I've got a year to think and thinking is what I'll do.
For the random souls that stumble upon this blog, be forewarned. This is not a travel blog. I will document my travels, my adventures, the monotony of 9-5 life, but I will also write whatever the fuck I want. Philosophical ponderings, political rants, semi self-pitying pieces like the one above, and more. Also, I do not believe in proof reading. Sorry.
The real world is fucking terrifying. I can't pin down what makes it so. You see I've never had to stay in one place for long. The benefits of being a Navy brat are endless; optimism, ability to make friends quickly and easily, an extensive knowledge of geography, and the vocabulary to swear like a sailor. The negatives, however, don't hit until later; the restlessness, the ease at which we let those friends go when it it time to move on, and the lack of a real home base. So you see, Cairo just makes sense. It's a year in a country I love, helping others, and it began and will end with goodbyes. But life can't be lived like that. The older we get, the more stability becomes important and necessary. I'm not a man to grow deep roots but I'm also a man that knows it takes something special to live successfully on the run. Well I've got a year to think and thinking is what I'll do.
For the random souls that stumble upon this blog, be forewarned. This is not a travel blog. I will document my travels, my adventures, the monotony of 9-5 life, but I will also write whatever the fuck I want. Philosophical ponderings, political rants, semi self-pitying pieces like the one above, and more. Also, I do not believe in proof reading. Sorry.
No comments:
Post a Comment